


Education in the Finer Details of Male Grooming

by EggMuffin



Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: ''grooming'' is just the grown up version of when you played beauty salon as a kid, Established Relationship, Grooming, M/M, fluff?, y'all know it is
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-16
Updated: 2017-08-16
Packaged: 2018-12-16 05:22:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11822085
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EggMuffin/pseuds/EggMuffin
Summary: Eggsy might be a gentleman now, but there are still things he doesn't know. Harry is more than happy to educate him.





	Education in the Finer Details of Male Grooming

**Author's Note:**

> It's another Harry grooms Eggsy for an unidentified special event fic!  
> This was supposed to be a short drabble in response to a prompt on tumblr. Oops. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr: [eggmuffinwrites](https://eggmuffinwrites.tumblr.com/)

‘’Did you have a haircut?’’ is the first thing Harry asks him when he steps into his house, even before kissing him hello, which is just rude.

‘’Uhh, yeah,’’ Eggsy replies and runs a hand through his hair awkwardly. ‘’Was I not supposed to?’’

Harry had invited him over two hours before the event, some posh, swanky thing Eggsy would’ve never thought he’d be invited to, but apparently now he was, had his own engraved invitation and everything. Harry said that he had never got around to showing Eggsy how a gentleman  _really_ grooms himself before an important event, and Eggsy didn’t know what he meant, like,  _at all_. Even as a Kingsman, Eggsy was still a pretty low maintenance guy, only now he used £60 aftershave instead of Old Spice.

‘’No, no, it’s fine,’’ Harry assures him as he ushers Eggsy upstairs. He keeps a steady hand on the small of Eggsy’s back as if he’s afraid that Eggsy will run if he doesn’t. ‘’It’s generally agreed that a gentleman has a haircut before a very important event, but when he does it is completely down to taste. I prefer to have a trim a week or two before, just to give my hair a little time to grow out. If you feel comfortable with a fresh cut, then it’s completely fine.’’

‘’So did Merlin have his a few decades before?’’ Eggsy jokes.

‘’Cheeky,’’ Harry says, but he laughs all the same.

Harry leads Eggsy to his bedroom, and he kind of wants to forget all about the event and the tuxedo that has already been delivered to Harry’s house, and just stay in and snog instead. But the resolute way Harry orders him to strip before he disappears into the ensuite is decidedly unsexy - not that Harry couldn’t make anything sound sexy, but it does sound like snogging is off the charts for now.

When he follows Harry into the bathroom – starkers, because it’s just Harry and Eggsy doesn’t care – his nostrils are assaulted with the strong smell of – something musky? But also maybe some kind of honey? And flowers? Eggsy doesn’t have a clue as he watches Harry plop something into the bathwater.

‘’Is that a bath bomb, Harry?’’            

‘’For relaxation. And it’s very good for your skin,’’ he replies, ushering Eggsy into the bath, seemingly unbothered by the nudity, save for a cheeky pinch on Eggsy’s arse.

‘’What’s wrong with my skin?’’ Eggsy asks, but he’s got to admit, the bath feels really nice.

‘’Nothing,’’ Harry assures him as he takes a seat on a low stool next to the bath and motions Eggsy to give him his hand.

Dutifully, Eggsy lets Harry take his hand in his. ‘’Where’s the ring?’’ he jokes. Harry sends him a very unimpressed look over his glasses.

‘’If you think I’m putting a ring on a finger with  _these_  cuticles,’’ he says, and lathers some sort of oil onto Eggsy’s fingertips.

‘’Oi! What’s wrong with my cuticles?’’

‘’Everything, my love. Do you chew on them?’’

Eggsy pouts as Harry attacks his nails with clippers and files and wooden sticks. His cuticles are perfectly fine, thank you very much. Just a bit… frayed sometimes. But he looks closer at Harry’s hands as he works and of course they are perfect, the skin around the nails smooth and neat.

‘’I’d like green polish, thank you,’’ he says primly as he struggles to find a comfortable position so that Harry can work on his other hand. ‘’It’ll complement my tie.’’

Harry snorts. ‘’Gentlemen usually prefer a classic French tip.’’

Eggsy guesses that’s a thing. He doesn’t ask, just in case.

When Harry is done, Eggsy admires his new, smooth cuticles. ‘’So do I have to do this regularly?’’

‘’If you want that ring, yes.’’ Eggsy knows that Harry’s joking, but he looks up and they look into each other’s eyes for a long moment, and Eggsy wonders if Harry’s actually serious, about the marriage thing, not the cuticle thing, and it’s such a scary and amazing concept at the same time. Eggsy doesn’t know how to react so he does what he does best: he jokes his way out.

‘’You’re a cuticle snob,’’ he says.

Harry takes it for what it is: a plea to shelve that particular conversation for another night.

‘’You get to my age,’’ he says, packing together his tools, ‘’and you’ll find that you can appreciate a good-looking cuticle.’’

‘’I should take you around to meet Daisy. She’s been playing beauty salon nonstop for the past week,’’ Eggsy groans. ‘’Took me ages to get the glitter out of my hair. I bet you two would have a field day prettying me up.’’

‘’You’re already very pretty,’’ Harry says and bends down to plant a kiss on Eggsy’s forehead. ‘’But I can see how glitter would definitely improve things.’’

‘’Oi, fuck off,’’ Eggsy counters with no real heat behind his words and steals a real kiss. The water’s starting to cool down and his skin  _does_  feel smoother, not to mention his shiny new cuticles. ‘’So are we done now?’’

Harry’s smile is both gleeful and sharp and it’s a little bit scary. ‘’Oh no,’’ he says, ‘’we’re just getting started.’’

‘’I just had a bath, why do I need a shower?’’ Eggsy asks, as Harry ushers him into his fancy-ass shower stall.

‘’Because you need to rinse off the products and wash your hair. It’s easier to do it in the shower. Make sure you use conditioner,’’ Harry explains patiently and then swans off, leaving Eggsy alone with a myriad of products lining the shelves.

‘’Which one?’’ he shouts, but doesn’t get an answer. Typical.

So he reads the labels and goes for the products that smell the best. Eggsy’s not stupid, he knows what conditioner  _is_. His mum has some. Roxy probably has some. He knows it’s supposed to make your hair shiny or some shit.  _Nourish it_ , something like that. He’s just never seen any reason to use it, until now.

He runs his hands down his body as a final check that he’s got all the soap and shit off, and then something occurs to him. He slides open the door and shouts for Harry again, who now decides to actually respond.

‘’Should I shave?’’ he asks when Harry pokes his head in.

‘’What, in the shower?’’

‘’No, like, body hair and stuff?’’

‘’That’s up to you. Some shave, some don’t,’’ Harry says, seemingly relieved that Eggsy wasn’t talking about shaving his beard. Eggsy might not know about this grooming business, but he’s not an actual idiot, thank you very much.

‘’Right, I think I’m done then.’’

‘’Did you use conditioner?’’

Eggsy rolls his eyes. ‘’Yes, mummy,’’ he mumbles as he steps out.

‘’Now, I think moisturising and then a shave, and we’re right on schedule.’’

Eggsy towels of and follows Harry back into the bedroom. ‘’Harry, this is ridiculous,’’ he declares and plops down on the bed, arms and legs spread out.

‘’You’ll thank me later.’’ And then Harry starts to massage some sort of lotion into Eggsy’s skin, working his way up his legs, and then his arms, then over his chest and belly, and then orders Eggsy to turn so that he could do his back.

‘’Okay,’’ Eggsy mumbles against the duvet, ‘’this is actually really nice. I approve of this. More of this, less of the cuticle conditioner shit.’’

‘’You’re being very difficult, Eggsy. Every gentleman should know how to groom himself. It’ll take less time once you’ve established a good daily – or weekly – grooming routine, then it’s just a matter of adjusting it a bit when you’ve got a very special event.’’

‘’I  _have_  a routine!’’

‘’A  _good_ routine.’’

Eggsy turns himself back over onto his back, still spread out like a starfish. ‘’Is it really necessary? Like,  _really_?’’

‘’Yes,’’ Harry says resolutely. ‘’Now, up you get, we need to give you a shave. Put something on.’’

‘’You’re a bully,’’ Eggsy accuses, but heaves himself up and ties the towel around his waist. He follows Harry back into the bathroom, where he has already laid out the shaving kit with an honest to god shaving brush.

‘’What, no straight razor?’’ asks Eggsy when Harry brandishes a safety razor at him.

‘’Some prefer it for special occasions, I personally find that it’s too much hassle. A safety razor, however, does an impeccable job when used correctly, and does not wreck your skin like those horrible multi-blade monstrosities.’’

Eggsy tries not to take offence when his preferred tools are insulted, because he knows that in addition to class differences, he and Harry have decades between them. Harry grew up using a safety razor, while Eggsy grew up with Gillette adverts.

‘’Have you ever used one?’’

Eggsy shakes his head and Harry beckons him to sit. ‘’I’ll teach you someday. But today I ask you to trust yourself in my hands.’’

‘’Sure,’’ Eggsy says and tilts his head up in Harry’s hands.

‘’While safety razors are very cost-effective over time, because the blades do not actually cost all that much, the key is finding the perfect handle for you. The higher end brands might run for 150 pounds or so – ‘’

‘’Holy shit, Harry – ‘’

‘’ – but I assure you, if the handle suits you, it’s worth it. Then it’s just a matter of getting used to it.’’

‘’Right. Whatever you say. But just so you know, Gillette is like 20 quid.’’

Harry finishes lathering up the shaving soap in a little bowl and starts to apply in onto Eggsy’s face. ‘’Yes, and a refill pack is 30 and your skin won’t thank you for any of it. The more blades you run over your skin, the more you damage it. Now, with a safety razor – sometimes called a double edge razor – you want to make sure that your skin is well lubricated. Some prefer shaving oils, but I’ve always been more of a soap and lather man myself. Once you try it for yourself, you can decide which you prefer.’’

Harry runs the blade over Eggsy jaw a few times. ‘’Never go against the grain, and keep your strokes short and fairly light. Never apply excess pressure. When shaving areas like the neck and cheeks, it’s a good idea to stretch the skin and keep it taut.’’ He rinses off the blade. ‘’Rinse the blade often. Although the double edge means that you can just flip it over, you’ll still want to rinse quite often and keep the blade clean.’’

Eggsy’s only half listening to what Harry’s saying. Most of his attention’s focused on his breathing and to making sure that he stays still. Eggsy’s never been shaved before by someone else, he’s always done it himself, and when he couldn’t for some reason – like when he broke his right arm – he just rocked a scruff.

But getting a shave from someone else is another matter. Harry’s so close, so intimate, steady hands anchoring Eggsy in place, which is probably a good thing, because it’s kind of hard to keep from squirming.

Eventually they’re done. With the shaving at least, because after Harry has rinsed off any leftover soap, he reaches for another tube.

‘’A good shaving cream or balm is just as important as the right razor. It’s a finishing touch that helps to soothe your skin,’’ Harry explains as he rubs a slightly smoky-smelling cream onto Eggsy’s chin. ‘’Again, it is heavily dependent on preferences, but you usually want to go for something neutral; the aim is to soothe, not irritate. Antibacterial properties are a plus.’’

Eggsy runs a tentative hand over his neck and chin and he has to hand it to Harry, it does feel pretty good. Harry also seems to be satisfied with his work, because he kisses Eggsy softly. ‘’There, now you’re much nicer to kiss.’’

‘’That’s a bit rude.’’

Eggsy heaves himself up as Harry starts putting the shaving kit back together. ‘’You’re not gonna get yourself all dolled up?’’ he asks Harry, when he realises that he’s been getting the spa treatment for an hour and Harry’s stayed in his slacks and shirt for the entire time.

‘’I got nearly everything done before you came over. I just have to do my hair and I’m all set. As I said, Eggsy, once you establish a good routine, everything goes quicker.’’

‘’I think you’ve just got a weird grooming kink, Harry.’’

Harry laughs, but doesn’t respond. Then he brandishes a comb and a jar of pomade at Eggsy. ‘’We’ve got little less than an hour before we have to go. You’re perfectly adept at doing your own hair, so I’ll leave you to it.’’

‘’What, no lesson in gentlemanly pomade application?’’ Eggsy asks but accepts the items anyway and peers into the mirror. It might just be placebo effect, but he  _does_  look a little more polished than usual; like someone had photoshopped him, but in real life.

‘’You can, of course, apply any product in a million different ways, to achieve a million different results. But for now, a simple slicked back style will do.’’ Again, Harry disappears into the bedroom and leaves Eggsy to it. Eggsy doesn’t mention that he modelled that style after Harry, and Harry, although he must know, doesn’t comment. When Merlin had told him to get his hair under control, all the way back during V-Day, when he had to successfully imitate Chester King, he had thought of Harry’s neat, slicked back hair and tried to imitate that. He does that again now, parting his hair neatly on the left, and then just combs it until it stays like it’s supposed to.

When he ventures into the bedroom again, Harry’s already mostly in his tux. He’s fastening his cufflinks, bowtie undone and jacket off, but he already looks almost regal. He’s slicked back his own hair, neat and nice.

And then he helps to dress Eggsy, the underwear, the socks, the trousers, the shirt, and it does feel pretty nice, to have someone slide your shirt on and smooth out the creases, so Eggsy doesn’t complain. Not too much, anyway.

‘’I can dress myself, y’know.’’

‘’Yes, but indulge me,’’ says Harry as he loops the dark green bowtie that Eggsy had insisted on around his neck.

‘’You  _do_  have a weird grooming kink,’’ Eggsy accuses.

‘’I’m merely… furthering your education and hopefully making you feel nice. Do you feel nice?’’

For the first time, Harry actually looks hesitant. He’s been so self-assured, confident in his words and actions, leading Eggsy through the process of  _grooming_ , that it makes Eggsy lose his footing for a moment.

‘’Don’t be an idiot, of course, I feel nice,’’ Eggsy assures him.

‘’And educated, I hope, in the finer details of male grooming?’’

‘’And educated, yeah. Definitely educated.’’

 


End file.
